Kindly Neighbours

A recent news story must have sent a chill through the heart of many people living apart from elderly relatives.  It concerned the discovery of two bodies in a well kept house in a fashionable suburb. This aged couple well into their eighties had become reclusive.   They shunned contact with neighbours and the old man was the sole carer for his wife, who was blind and suffering from advanced Dementia.

The police can only conclude that the carer died from natural causes and that his wife consequently suffered a lingering death when his supportive services ceased.  The anguish is unimaginable.  It would not have been a pleasant death and it certainly provoked a surge of reflection as many people thought of similar events that could be happening in the street where they lived.

Sadly, there was a neighbour who regularly knocked on the door to ensure that all was well with this old couple, but she was away on an extended holiday when this death happened.  It provoked the government to urge people to at least be observant when they have a reclusive old resident living nearby.   Even if attempts to make contact are being rejected it would be merciful to be aware that the milk delivery and newspapers were not being collected - or the lights failing to show in windows at night.  A report of concern to the police will ensure that such a suspicion will be quickly investigated.

A number of charitable services are already in place to fill this need.  Most are staffed with volunteers who make regular contact to ensure that the elderly person is alright.  It is usually the same volunteer and often this develops into a friendship.  That regular phone call develops into a welcome chat that banishes the loneliness into which some old people descend.   The problem is getting the recluse to accept initial contact in the first place.

In the distant past keeping tabs on the elderly was usually a task undertaken by the local doctor.  It is usual for the elderly to be reliant on some form of medication and obviously they need to have regular contact with a doctor for prescription renewals.   Most suburban general practitioners had part of the day put aside for home visits and were therefore in regular contact with the elderly on their books.

Today, such practices are more likely to be a clinic where patients take a number and wait their turn to see whichever doctor happens to be on duty - and that personal relationship is lost.   In fact some elderly have little contact with doctors and rely on the local pharmacy for both advice and medication.  In such cases, observant pharmacy staff can be the valued contact between that person - and the outside world.

Usually it takes a tragic death like this news story to bring the plight of reclusive elderly to public attention.   Many will make the effort - and some will be rather rudely rebuffed.   It is not unusual for the elderly to be very defensive about what they see as their " privacy " !

Hopefully, in some instances alert and attentive neighbours will enable intervention to prevent such tragic conclusions.