Backlash !

The urgings of Family Minister Kevin Anderson for de-facto couples to " tie the knot " will be met with derision by many people.   The slavish need for a " Marriage Certificate " that existed in the past no longer rules the lives of society.  In many ways, the freedom of association that we take for granted today is a form of backlash against the tyranny imposed by both the churches and so called " respectable " society that hobbled any chance of a happy relationship many decades ago.

It seems strange that once courting couples were so rigidly separated that they had absolutely no chance of getting to know one another.   Those were the days of the " chaperone " and etiquette required that one on one dalliance was kept to an absolute minimum.   The procedure led to an " engagement ",  usually quickly followed by a trip down the aisle - and then they were allowed the joy of really finding out if they were a compatible couple.

Those were the days when divorce required the intimate details of the marriage to be aired in open court - and firmly opposed by both the churches and the lawmakers.   Either one party had to be judged the " guilty " partner who had destroyed the marriage, or both had to endure seven long years of separation before the knot could be untied -  and the " divorced " were considered social pariahs.

The winds of change began blowing through the social order after the end of the second world war.  Many began to question the restrictions that society imposed on job opportunities, travel, expanded education - and personal relationships.   Mass production was bringing the car into the price range of the average person and with mobility came the opportunity to expand personal horizons.   This brought the empowerment of women - and sharply reduced the authority of churches to dictate the terms of how we would live our lives.

The world around us changed.   The dictum of a job for life faded away.   The average person will need to retrain several times over their lifetime - and we became more selective in choosing a partner.  The concept of one becoming the breadwinner and the other a homemaker quickly morphed into the double income family - and children fitted into these changing relationships with the nonchalance suited to young minds.

Asking society to turn back the clock on personal relationships is like swimming against the tide.   Marriage suits some people - and doesn't suit others.   The trend is running in the opposite direction and it seems that the laws are being changed to suit the conditions that prevail.   Inheritance and taxation laws are being changed to accommodate de-facto arrangements.   Strangely, same sex couples are free to live together, but are agitating for that very " marriage certificate " that de-facto couples shun - and that old concept of a " lifetime union " between two people of the opposite sex is no longer the valid objective of many couples.

It is far too late to even try and reimpose the draconian laws that applied to personal relationships.  The cork has been popped - and the Genie is well and truly out of the bottle !