Smoking licenses !

Health minister Nicola Rixon has dismissed calls for " smoker's licenses " for what they are - the wildest dream of the zealots of the anti-smoking movement.

According to this suggestion those seeking to smoke would first have to submit to a health conference at which they would be quizzed on their knowledge of the health risks of smoking.   Once the inquisition was satisfied that they fully knew the dangers - and still wanted to smoke - they would be required to set the number of smokes per day that they should be permitted.     They would then pay a hefty fee - and be issued with a photo license card - similar to a driving license.

This would need to be produced every time they needed to buy cigarettes - and would face a sales rejection if the number of cigarettes consumed since the last purchase exceeded the per day quota permitted on the license.    And this would apply to what was still a fully legal product !

Once the bureaucrats get a hold on the health issue the sky would be the limit. How long before alcohol consumption would face a similar regime ?    You would need a license and an agreed limit to buy any sort of alcoholic drink.   " A glass of wine with a meal ? "      " Sorry Sir.  The computer says you exceeded your limit last night.  You can not have another drink until the end of this week ! "

And then there is the little matter of junk food.    You would need to flash that photo license every time you called at McDonalds - and each item on the menu would be listed by a scale of kilojoules.   "  No Sir.   You can not have a Big Mac or a Quarter Pounder.   To stay within your limit I can only offer you a salad - and a glass of fruit juice ! "

Not only would it see the death of the weight loss industry - but life wouldn't be a lot of fun for most people with " Big Brother " controlling what we could smoke, eat and drink !